It is sometimes odd how the opportunity that exists to exercise my freedom is so neglected. The prime example being my driver’s license and access to a vehicle. The world is mine, I can get places when I want to. Yet most of the time it seems like I would rather not bother.
This metal box I drive around takes me to work, to school, to obligation. When I have free time, it seems like one of the last things I want to do is drive somewhere. Not because I don’t like driving either, I find it rather relaxing sometimes, but because having somewhere to go is just another way of having an obligation to get somewhere.
Sometimes I wonder if I would go places more with a newer car, perhaps one with better gas milage. Would I have more places to go? Would I have greater desire to go to those places? Driving without a destination turns into a waste of money right now. And in the end I always end up back at home, where my car lives. So why bother leaving?
Perhaps I can answer that some day.
Monday, January 19, 2009
Monday, January 12, 2009
Full Moons
The week before school starts again is coming to a close. And stress is not what seems to be overtaking my mind like I’m sure it is doing to the minds of many others. It has seemed to be a stressful week for almost everyone I know, in some way or another. I haven’t felt it consciously, but I have been having trouble sleeping.
I have always felt like there are not enough hours in the day. Or at least I have felt that way for the last 8 or so years of my life. Remembering specific feelings is a hard thing to do for things that far in the past, except for those few intense events of course. Depending on the week, or maybe the month it seems like my existence requires a 26-30 hour day rather then the 24 allocated to me.
“8 hours of sleep should be sufficient,” they say, of course I seem to need somewhere between 9 and 11 to feel fully rested. And though my body starts to feel tired after 16 hours my brain doesn’t stop till its been awake for more like 18. I remember being in highschool and wondering if it was some kind of mild insomnia. But I don’t actually have trouble sleeping, if anything I have trouble waking up.
I’ve also found I have a harder time shutting off my brain around the time of the full moon every month, which happened to be this week. Now many people will say the moon has nothing to do with sleeping, and maybe that is generally true. However the moon does effect our earth, the tides for example, and I find it very hard to believe that something with such a strong effect on our planet can have no effect on us. Perhaps I will try to pay a little more attention to see if the people around me seem to be in more stressful situations around the full moons.
Which brings this rant full circle. I haven’t felt stressed out lately, but I think I must be. When I think back I find that in times of high stress I have had harder times sleeping. This is probably true of most people, I don’t feel odd in this way. But when I have trouble falling asleep, I have trouble waking up. This week, I have had lots of trouble waking up.
I have always felt like there are not enough hours in the day. Or at least I have felt that way for the last 8 or so years of my life. Remembering specific feelings is a hard thing to do for things that far in the past, except for those few intense events of course. Depending on the week, or maybe the month it seems like my existence requires a 26-30 hour day rather then the 24 allocated to me.
“8 hours of sleep should be sufficient,” they say, of course I seem to need somewhere between 9 and 11 to feel fully rested. And though my body starts to feel tired after 16 hours my brain doesn’t stop till its been awake for more like 18. I remember being in highschool and wondering if it was some kind of mild insomnia. But I don’t actually have trouble sleeping, if anything I have trouble waking up.
I’ve also found I have a harder time shutting off my brain around the time of the full moon every month, which happened to be this week. Now many people will say the moon has nothing to do with sleeping, and maybe that is generally true. However the moon does effect our earth, the tides for example, and I find it very hard to believe that something with such a strong effect on our planet can have no effect on us. Perhaps I will try to pay a little more attention to see if the people around me seem to be in more stressful situations around the full moons.
Which brings this rant full circle. I haven’t felt stressed out lately, but I think I must be. When I think back I find that in times of high stress I have had harder times sleeping. This is probably true of most people, I don’t feel odd in this way. But when I have trouble falling asleep, I have trouble waking up. This week, I have had lots of trouble waking up.
Monday, January 5, 2009
New Year's Resolutions
I have decided on two resolutions this year. The first being to finish that half a bottle of vodka from my birthday last year before my birthday this year. The second being to do this right here. Write a blog and update it once a week minimum, before I goto bed on Sunday of every week.
As you can see I have titled it “Neil’s Mind.” This is of course because I am Neil, and this blog has no defined goal like my campaign journal did (you can still find that here). It is just going to be whatever I feel like writing about every week. Maybe it will be a movie review or about some game I played, or perhaps it will take a more serious philosophical tone sometime. We will just have to see what I feel like on a given week.
As for this week, I just need to get started. Make this thing, and I have.
As you can see I have titled it “Neil’s Mind.” This is of course because I am Neil, and this blog has no defined goal like my campaign journal did (you can still find that here). It is just going to be whatever I feel like writing about every week. Maybe it will be a movie review or about some game I played, or perhaps it will take a more serious philosophical tone sometime. We will just have to see what I feel like on a given week.
As for this week, I just need to get started. Make this thing, and I have.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
