Sorry for the late post. I have been and still am really sick. I felt a little better yesterday but I feel bad again today.
As of tomorrow I will have missed 2.75 days of work and 1 day of school.
I really hate being sick.
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Monday, March 23, 2009
Character
I almost died last night. I was not the only one to be hurt badly, but I was the only one to truly stare at my body’s almost certain demise. But as the clutches of the spirit world grasped at me I tumbled free, to the relative safety of my companions.
I, a short tempered outcast, was then saved, quite selflessly, by another wounded man. Someone who for the little time we spent together had very little reason to truly believe in my ability, let alone my morality, to stay and help afterwards.
That act made me feel accepted in a way I never would have expected. At least, not from the way most other humans have treated me.
Of course, none of this happened in our reality. But then, how can one act well if one does not, to an extent, become the character.
There is that saying about people, how we are all just players on the stage of life. No use quoting it here, everyone knows the line and where to place the credit. I wonder sometimes, about that saying. About how many, or few roles we really do play.
I, a short tempered outcast, was then saved, quite selflessly, by another wounded man. Someone who for the little time we spent together had very little reason to truly believe in my ability, let alone my morality, to stay and help afterwards.
That act made me feel accepted in a way I never would have expected. At least, not from the way most other humans have treated me.
Of course, none of this happened in our reality. But then, how can one act well if one does not, to an extent, become the character.
There is that saying about people, how we are all just players on the stage of life. No use quoting it here, everyone knows the line and where to place the credit. I wonder sometimes, about that saying. About how many, or few roles we really do play.
Sunday, March 15, 2009
Eleventh!
This is the eleventh week I’ve kept this up. Not to badly I think, sure I dropped off in getting them done on time for a few weeks there but I still kept the once a week part up.
Anyway, school starts up again tomorrow. It seems odd to never have a real vacation anymore. I remember back in the old days before a job the vacations always felt like something to look forward to. I still kinda do, they are nice because it means less obligations. Its just annoying how now a vacation also means more demand from one of the obligations.
That is the nature of my work though, and I can’t say I have a particularly bad job. I mean, sure there are things I don’t like but there are many nice things about it to. Its just annoying that since we are open for so many extra hours during a vacation more time is demanded of me.
I got a fair amount of comments, offline, about that poem last week. Sort of renews some fo the vigor I once had at the idea of being a writer. Although, that is not steady work, at least not yet for a person like me.
I think I will try to put a little more time into that however, and perhaps post some more of my work on here in the future. When I have more time that is.
Anyway, school starts up again tomorrow. It seems odd to never have a real vacation anymore. I remember back in the old days before a job the vacations always felt like something to look forward to. I still kinda do, they are nice because it means less obligations. Its just annoying how now a vacation also means more demand from one of the obligations.
That is the nature of my work though, and I can’t say I have a particularly bad job. I mean, sure there are things I don’t like but there are many nice things about it to. Its just annoying that since we are open for so many extra hours during a vacation more time is demanded of me.
I got a fair amount of comments, offline, about that poem last week. Sort of renews some fo the vigor I once had at the idea of being a writer. Although, that is not steady work, at least not yet for a person like me.
I think I will try to put a little more time into that however, and perhaps post some more of my work on here in the future. When I have more time that is.
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
One Hour
It is not a lot of time. However that one lost hour completely destroys my world every year. This year I was walking around my house on Saturday, and I said to myself, “oh tomorrow is Sunday I will write my blog.” Then 2 days of completely incomprehensible existence followed. I don’t really know what I did or didn’t do until today, and even today I don’t really know what happened before I was at work.
I do not feel like ranting about how stupid I am for forgetting once again. Instead I will post this poem I once wrote.
I do not feel like ranting about how stupid I am for forgetting once again. Instead I will post this poem I once wrote.
There are no sounds coming from outside the ring,Just so you know, One Hour is not the title.
no people watching to see who wins.
I wouldn’t bet on me.
How am I to win? I’m fighting a landslide
aware only that it destroys, and not what
it destroys, my will to persevere.
The bell rings,
the opening exchange is more one sided than I expected.
Each tick and tock another punch to my face.
A bloody, mashed up heap of flesh.
Broken jaw, bleeding and crooked nose,
cut across the forehead, dripping down
in blind, weeping eyes.
I don’t feel any of it.
The ground is hard and comfortable.
Monday, March 2, 2009
Distracted
Ugh this is the third week in a row. Sundays are when I am supposed to be posting these. Too much is always happening these days. Even my days off don’t feel much like days off.
Its driving me to do anything to make that little bit of free time feel like more. To do things that at least give me the feeling of something I want being achieved instead of just the things I must achieve.
By distracting myself this way I am neglecting other things. Well, I suppose I’ve only really neglected this.
Perhaps I need another source of motivation for this. Or perhaps, I need to spend a little more time thinking about what day it is. That is something I miss greatly about having grade school and nothing else. I always knew what day it was.
Its driving me to do anything to make that little bit of free time feel like more. To do things that at least give me the feeling of something I want being achieved instead of just the things I must achieve.
By distracting myself this way I am neglecting other things. Well, I suppose I’ve only really neglected this.
Perhaps I need another source of motivation for this. Or perhaps, I need to spend a little more time thinking about what day it is. That is something I miss greatly about having grade school and nothing else. I always knew what day it was.
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